Micro Memoirs

January 3, 2012 at 1:41 am (Love) (, , , , , , , )

Now that it is the New Year, let’s get a head start on V.D., shall we?

At certain times and under particular conditions it is helpful, if not incumbent upon ourselves, to take such exercises as are necessary for the release of stress and to act as a laxative for the mind and consciousness, purging away those emotional indigestibles so contrary to peace of mind … not to mention bodily function.

In light of this, I thought it might be fun to take a look at one such ‘session’ I undertook in the guise of an alter-ego of some history and nostalgia in my own frame of reference.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you, Billy Ray Lester:

“In his younger days he had adopted the personae of such characters as Billy Ray Lester, complete in a wife beater, tight jeans, and cowboy boots … He stretched, flexing his bare arms in a sleeveless t-shirt which had a 7-Up slogan on the front: ‘Never Had It, Never will,’ he was particularly fit back then, “You wanna get outta here? Kinda slow tonight.”

“You a perv or something?” I edged away.

“No, I’m Billy Ray.” He stuck out his hand, “Billy Ray Lester.”””

That outtake was courtesy of my apprentice’s ‘maiden tale’ about me entitled ‘The Mystery Shopper’. Well, that is how he recalls our initial contact, though I daresay he was pretty much right on the money (I’m a tad embarrassed to admit).

Now then, these micro memoirs (also known as Six-Word Memoirs), deal with subject matter in the category of relationships, and in particular under the sub-heading of ‘pain’, or if you prefer more specifically: breakups.

Not to belabour, so I will give you one of mine that you may experience some of the anguish I was trying to work through at a critical point in my life:

“Remember me from the carpet burns…”

‘What was the cause?’ You may be moved to query. Well, I’ll leave it again to my trusty apprentice to spell it out:

“A woman strolled over, hair piled high above plucked eyebrows, heavy mascara, and ruby red lipstick. She was nearer Joe’s age than my own, if appearances didn’t deceive. Dressed in a black leather miniskirt, low cut blouse exposing abundant cleavage, stiletto heels, she appeared to me a streetwalker. Joe was painfully unprepared for this. But it was too late for an evasive course of action.”

And that is pretty much how it went down. And he was correct, it was over before it started, only I didn’t know it. In such circumstances, the only course of action left after the wheels come completely off your little red wagon (and with hot to trot operatives like the one just described, they most assuredly will), is to get yourself on the road to recovery ASAP!


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The Arms of Lopp

October 20, 2010 at 9:10 pm (geneaology) (, , , , )

See what other Lopps are saying!

‘Fringe’ Event: I’ve said it before and will do so again … We Are Legion!

Well, maybe not quite so many but Stanley caught the gist of it when he wrote:

“Joe bald, but his mother somewhat less so. And, this is the truly odd thing about them, they both resemble the late thespian Sydney Greenstreet (a.k.a. Kasper ‘The Fat Man’ Gutman), of Maltese Falcon fame, to a startling degree.”

And what do I find while watching an episode of the TV show Fringe? Why only THIS:

“Peter: Apparently Mr. Gordon thought he was the actor Sydney Greenstreet, and went around quoting Casablanca. That’s funny.
Olivia: What?
Peter: He looks a lot more like Peter Lorre. That’s a joke.”

Ha-Ha, good ol’ Lorre. At any rate, it is still an acquired taste, to be sure, nonetheless Check It Out for yourselves…

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Investigative persistence & possible Extortion

July 23, 2009 at 10:23 pm (fanmail) (, , , , , , , )

Current mood:betrayed

From time to time I like to present some of my fanmail when it contains items of particular interest. Could be anything, often is, but in this particular instance we have two, possibly conjoined, bits of information which I would bring to your attention, good readers.
First off, a point of professional reference which I think highly relevant to any and all who seek to pursue my line of work (or one in a related field, but all the same ‘industry’, after all). Here is the content of the comment I’d received some time back, am only now getting to it (becoming lazy, old Lopp? haha):

‘Not sure about that, are you saying you’d rather not have ‘3rd World’ and China looked at at all? Doesn’t the light need to be shined into every nook and cranny, every crevice and crack, and down the blouse or up the skirt of any and everyone who may be hiding something aggressively uncivil?
I certainly think it does…’

The above comment, actually, came in regards to an entirely off-topic subject, yet I must commend the author for their thoroughness and, dare I say, ‘aggressiveness’ in investigative technique. This is JUST the kind of doggedness which is absolutely essential in all the investigative sectors. Never lose sight of that! Leave no stone unturned, and, as stated above, no blouse of skirt unsearched. If you do that, you’ll not go wrong. Trust me.

Now, to the second bit of info, and one of far more concern to me. You may be wondering why I would bring up such personal matters … well, you shall see. The above post came from one Rebgoblin, whom, after some detective work, I managed to trace to the link provided (you’ll find the comment I pasted above under the storyline: ‘Amnesty’s grim global report/Taking on the sins of the world’).
But it is not that which is of concern, if you’ll scroll up, to certain comments under storylines such as: ‘Soaring gun sales/Planning for the worst’ or ‘Sarah Palin stands down as governor of Alaska/An Alaskan mystery’, you’ll note a familiar refrain … that is, if you’ve followed this blog at all.
I believe the ‘goblin is none other than Mangle Blue Palin (of whom I’ve posted before), who has hounded me for some time w/ outrageous claims of patrimony in relation to a certain well known politico. I bring this up as a cautionary tale to all who may achieve some measure of success in this life, but be warned: there are those out there who will stop at nothing to get a piece of you! They are tireless, and they are seemingly everywhere. One must be ever vigilant against them.

To M.B., if that is indeed you, you will get no alimony, or palimony, or any other kind of mo-ney, or anything else out me, EVER! If you want a handout, I suggest you pursue your so-called ‘mother’, maybe she’ll give you some mamamony … then again, I’d wager she’ll spurn your advances as thoroughly as I’ve done. Whichever, and whatevs, be gone with you, sir…

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